Funny jokes for people haha

5 MINUTS READING AND ANYBODY HAV A SMILE ......

fuuny jokes---

1
Police: where do u live?
Me: with my parents
Police: where does ur parents live?
Me: with me
Police: where do u all live?
Me: together
Police: where is ur house?
Me: next to my neighbors house
Police: where is your neighbors house?
Me: if i tell you u wont believe me.
Police: tell me
Me: next to my house

2
Teacher: "Anyone who thinks he's stupid may stand up!"
*Nobody stands up*
Teacher: "Im sure there are some stupid students over here!!"
*Little Johnny stands up*
Teacher: "Ohh, Johnny you think you're stupid?"
Little Johnny: "No... i just feel bad that you're standing alone..."



3
i believe i can flyyy
got shot by the pizza guyyy
all i wanted was some onion ringggss
from McDonald's or Burgerkinggg
I believe i can soarrrr
mom slapped me in the grocery storeee
Even though im 24 I still got an imaginary dinosoarrrrr
I believe i can falllll I tripped on a bouncey ballll


4
Boy: *calls 911* Hello? I need your help!
911: Alright, What is it?
Boy: Two girls are fighting over me!
911: So what's your emergency?
Boy: The ugly one is winning.


5
Boy: The principal is so dumb!
Girl: Do you know who I am?
Boy: No...
Girl: I am the principal's daughter!
Boy: Do you know who I am?
Girl: No...
Boy: Good! *walks away*


6
Dad: Hey son want to hear a joke?
Son: Yeah!
Dad: Pussy.
Son: I dont get it.
Dad: Exactly...


7
Husband (watching a video):
Don't do it! I swear you gonna regret it for the rest of your life. You stupid idiot! Don't say yes. No! No! NOOO!! Aw dang, he actually did it! What a dumb ass!
Wife: Honey, why you so mad? What'aya watching?
Husband: Our wedding ceremony.


8
Dad: Say daddy!
Baby: Mommy!
Dad: Come on, say daddy!
Baby: Mommy!
Dad: F*ck you, say daddy!
Baby: F*ck you, Mommy!
Mom: Honey, I'm home!
Baby: F*ck you!
Mom: Who taught you that?
Baby: Daddy!
Dad: Son of a b*tch.


9
Jack and Jill went up a hill
So Jack could lick her candy,
Well Jack got a shock and mouthful of cock,
'Cause Jill's real name was randy.

10
Doctor: "I have good news and bad news."
Patient: "Go with the good news first."
Doctor: "You have 24 hours to live."
Patient: "What?! How about the bad news?"
Doctor: Um... I forgot to tell you yesterday."


11
Me: I bet you can't say the alphabet faster than me.
Friend: challenge accepted A B C D E F G H I....
Me: the alphabet
Friend: you son of a b*tch...